Day 1

On September 4th 2008,
For Jenny's first visit, Rex couldn't wait.
We drove to the Airport, we were a bit early,
So at Denny's we stopped and had fries that were curly.
At the Airport, the aircraft was now at the Gate,
So we knew that we wouldn't have too long to wait.

Down the stairs she did glide, waving her hand,
As her bag travelled round on the carousell band.
"Could you get my luggage", to Rex was the order,
"It's heavy, it's silver and it got a black border".

Back home we arrived, Rex got her bag,
She asked for an ashtray, she wanted a fag.
"You can't smoke indoors", Rex was quite blunt,
"Oh, that's quite alright, I'll sit out the front".

I showed her the room and things she could use,
Not realising at that time, some things she'd abuse!
She unpacked her bag whilst I got the dinner,
The last time I saw her - I'm sure she was thinner.
She came back downstairs with gifts from her bag,
Then back to the balcony for another damn fag.

Whe dinner was finished, she wanted a drink,
She's Teetotal, so wines off the menu I think.
"I want a coffee", she said, "but not that you grind",
I found her some "Instant" Tim left behind.

Then off to the balcony and into the night,
With her cup and her ashtray and her Marlborough Light.
"I'm off for a shower, I'm tired now", she said,
It was 10pm, so we all went to bed.

Two hours later, Rex was awoken,
By a noise that sounded like things being broken.
"It's Jenny" he said, as he looked at the clock,
She wasn't aware that he ownes a Glock!!

Back to her room she retired with her coffee black,
We went back to sleep and thought that was that.
But two hours later, she was rattling about,
She wanted a fag and tried to get out.
But the lock on the door was too high for poor Jen,
You see the poor woman is just 4 foot 10.

Next morning quite early, Rex the stairs he went down,
To be confronted by Jen in a white dressing gown.
"Can you unlock the door Rex", she said with a smile,
"I want to go out on the porch for a while".
She coughed and she coughed, it really was rasping,
She wanted out - for a fag she was gasping.

She doesn't eat breakfast, she doesn't drink tea,
She just smokes and coughs and constantly pees.

I sit down for a chat, she talks of her lodger,
And then she says, "Can I please phone Roger".
"Of course you can Jen," as I hand her the phone,
When Rex sees the bill, I know he will moan!

Roger's her boyfriend back in the UK,
He was meant to come with her, but decided to stay.
After talking for ages, "Roger wishes you well",
It was then I found out she was phoning a 'Cell'.

One hour later she's out on the Deck,
"Who's making me coffee" - she's got a neck!
"If you want a drink Jen, you make it yourself",
Was Rex's reply, "the cups on the shelf".
"I must have a cup and a saucer - not mug",
By this time poor Rex she is starting to bug.

Then Rex says to Jen - "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know", says Jen - "The Alamo!"
"You have to rise early if you want to go there",
"All the time you take drying and straightening your hair".

At length the decision Rex has to make,
"Let's go for lunch down by the Lake",
We went to the Oasis, the view there is great,
But as y'all know, the food there I hate!
They both had Mexican, I had a wrap,
They both liked theirs but mine it was crap.
The meal it is over, but before we can leave,
Jenny goes out for a fag and a pee.

Back home she's straight onto the deck for a smoke,
She's hyped up on coffee and loads of free coke.
By now it's 2.30 and time for her nap,
A few hours of peace - thank God for that!

The rest of the day is more of the same,
By the end of the week - will I still be sane!!!