Katie’s Christmas Party

I departed the house at just after Ten,
To pick up our Janet, aka WWN,
A few minutes later at Steve’s house I arrived,
Where I spotted Janet halfway down the drive.

She opened the door and climbed in the car,
We’re off to the school, it’s not very far.
It’s Katie’s school party, all relatives invited,
Sarah couldn’t go, so it’s ‘Grannies United’.

‘This is a nice car’, she started to talk,
‘Our Edward, he’s one and he nearly can walk’.
She went on to tell me about Helen’s Mum,
Who has Edward weekly but she has him none!
‘I have him some evenings’ she said as she sighed,
‘But I like it that way, ‘cause then I’m not tied’.

The Car Park was full, I did a quick lap,
But there wasn’t a space, not even a gap!
‘Over there’ she said eagerly (a red line on the road),
I thought – I don’t think so, I don’t want to get towed!

Some space at the end of the road I then saw,
‘I’ll drop you off here Janet, wait for me by the door’.

We entered the building, ‘I’ve been here before’,
Chirped Janet excitedly, ‘I went in the Hall’.
‘To watch Katie’s circus, ‘twas a really good show’.
I was there too Janet – didn’t you know!

We’re going to the Office, just follow the rest,
To get ‘visitors passes’ stuck on our chest.
‘Where is Ms. Chapman’, I asked so polite,
‘Up the stairs, past ‘the house’, then turn to the right.

We entered the classroom, the kids were all sat,
I spotted Katie in a red Santa Hat.
‘Can you see our Katie’, said WWN,
‘Yes, there she is, down there on the end’.

They were watching a movie so the room was quite dim,
Katie was waving and had a big grin.
Her teacher then spied up and over she ran,
‘You must be ‘The Grannies’, she said, shaking hands.


Back to their tables the kids were then sent,
To make Gingerbread Houses was the intent.
Graham Crackers were used to make the four walls,
‘Shall I break them for you’ Janet then calls.
‘No’ replies Katie – I thought quite aloof,
Whilst spreading white icing on her gingerbread roof.

Now came the tree, made out of a cone,
She wanted some sprinkles to do on her own.
Janet had scooped up a handful of these,
‘You take them from me to put on your tree’.
Katie said nothing, just looked with distain,
I know what’s she’s thinking – Granny’s being a pain!

I then had an idea, which I thought was great,
‘Katie, put all the sprinkles down there on the plate,
Then roll the tree in them, that would be good’.
Katie just smiled and said ‘Yes it would’.

Katie grabbed Granny’s hand – she showed her no fear,
Janet had to agree, it was a good idea.

With camera in hand, then appeared Heather,
‘Come on now, all smile and gather together’.
Katie leaned toward me, all pretty in blue.
In my ear she did whisper – ‘Can I come with you’.

Katie must have been hungry ‘cause she’d eaten her house.
And now had those sprinkles all round her mouth.
It was stressful for Granny – I could see that,
As she kept asking Katie, ‘Where is the tap’.
‘Over there’, replied Katie, ‘Why don’t you just go’,
This isn’t the Katie I’ve come to know!

Granny’s now trying to straighten Katie’s red hat,
When Heather ‘The Candle’ calls them all to the mat.
‘It’s gift time’, she says from her rocking chair,
All open together, I want to play fair.
‘You’ve all got an ornament to put on your tree,
It’s a picture of you that was taken with me’.

‘Oh, what a nice gift’, Janet said with a grin.
If Steve gets his way, It’ll be in the bin!!

‘And now’, says ‘The Candle’, ‘What you’ve all waited for’.
To the kids that were sitting cross legged on the floor.
‘I’m gonna open my presents, now won’t that be fun,
‘Oh no’ spluttered Janet, ‘Sarah didn’t send one’.
Not everyone did, I said, ‘It will be fine.
I wanna go home and open some wine.

One by one gifts were opened – ‘Oh look at this’,
As she held up a frog (go on, give it a kiss).
Gift vouchers and ornaments and a big ornate cross,
With the kid’s name who gave it, on it was embossed.
A long crochet scarf was the gift of the day.
‘Oh look’ she was gushing, ‘I’ll take this to L.A.

The gifts were all opened, I glanced at the clock,
When a woman came over in a naff flowered frock.
‘Do you want your house to give you your Mommy”,
‘Too late’, we both said – it was in Katie’s tummy.

At last we can leave, Heather gives us a hug.
‘Don’t forget all you children, to sign Parker’s mug’.
We go down the stairs to sign Katie out,
‘Don’t run ahead’, I can hear Janet shout.
We had quite a walk to get back to the car,
Where I was parked was really quite far!

Janet is now right on Katie’s tail,
And I can clearly hear as she starts to wail.
‘Katie, come here, put your hand in mine’.
Katie’s retort – ‘Oh, OK, Fine!!
‘Watch out now Katie, mind all that sand’.
Then Katie breaks free and grabs hold my hand.

I’m parked next to a hedge, the gap is slim,
So I have to reverse to let them both in.
Katie then climbs nimbly into the back,
Whilst Janet is clutching her blue rucksack.
‘Take you bag for me Katie’ Granny implores,
‘Just put it there’ she says, ‘Down on the floor’.
‘There won’t be room for it when I move back’.
‘Yes there will’ says our Katie, fixing her strap.
‘Katie you’re wrong’ Granny did bleat.
‘Then put it there’ she said, ‘On that spare seat’.
I then turned around to sort it all out,
I thought that I should, before War broke out.

We’re off and running, we’re at the lights.
When I notice Janet, sitting bolt upright.
‘There’s a lever down there to adjust the back of your seat,
It’s somewhere on the right, down there by your feet.
I think that she found it, she’s now out of sight.
And Katie is squealing with utter delight.

I glance to my side and there all in black,
I see Janet is lying flat out on her back.
‘Come on now Granny, get up’, Katie begs.
‘You’re head’s in my lap and you’re squashing my legs’.
With Katie’s help she is back, wow, that is handy,
‘Granny’ says Katie, ‘Where is my Candy’.

‘I’m saving it Katie, for when we get in’.
‘But I want it now, to share with the twins!’
Reluctantly Granny then handed it back,
Now Katie is happy with it in her lap.

Janet then rambled on about Alton Brown,
‘I’m reading a book Sarah’s got back at home.
‘He’s a Chef on TV if I recall,
Last time I was here, he was down at The Mall.

At last we’re back home, it’s 11.33,
I dropped them both off and head home for tea.
‘Hello’ says Rex, ‘Did it all go alright’.
‘Oh yes, I’ve seen Katie in a completely new light!!!